steps to recovery

astralize me, cap'n!

2007-08-23T21:50:00.000-04:00

i feel so..wierd rigt about now. its a good feeling; i havent felt it in so long..its nice. well for all the things that need worked out..i hope they work out nice. heh its da truth
i sure can wait for school.
want to know something? dont understand something? ask mee! if theres anything i dont know, the century book of facts is sure to know it. yes i know you could just ask jeeves all your questions..but jeeves wont feel any better if you ask him. cause he's a machine and all. so yeah
well gojira is an awesome band; you should most deffinately check them out. i doubt youll regret using the minute or so it takes to do so.
hmmm i wanna go to bed now
nightynight!
eye hart ewe bryan :O

im not happy with blogger

2007-08-07T22:25:00.000-04:00

first they sold out to google, and now the addresses for blogger blogs are wierd..and stuff..grrrr
well im not all itchy no mo
i gave madonna a hair cut and trimmed her nails
i was talking to jack, and he's really cool and i hope we can be good friends =3 (cuz ya just cant have enough of those)
im pretty tired. i wish casey would get on so i could ask him if he's upset with mee cuz thats what it seems like cuz i was all wierd the other night. i dont know why; it was all just so wierd..eh
issues..but not enough tissues
guess ill go now. first to rs for a little more then bed. sweet dreams all!

music of the stars

2007-08-01T22:55:00.000-04:00

its what merlin was obsessed with..
well im reading the elegant universe again, and this line made me think: "..particle properties in string theory are the manifestation of one and the same physical feature: the reasonant patternes of vibration-the music, so to speak- of fundamental loops of string."
because people talk about music being in everything and stuff..if everything is indeed nothing more than vibrations, i dunno..it made me think alot and it seems neat. i cant describe it yet..

liz viscious' "plans" for the future

2007-07-30T22:13:00.000-04:00

well i still cant find the text editing thing..ell well. i like the bands korn and slipknot now. i cant think of anything much to say. i wanted to do something, so i think thats what im going to do. i wanted to do this for a while on the blog or not, but i though hey this would be kinda neat to blog so i will. i have so many hopeful plans for the future that i decided to write them down.

im definitely going to go to college; im pretty sure either for cooking, physics, hotel management or possibly even foreign affairs.

id love to have my own hotel/restaurant/inn, but it requires staying there so i dunno.
i loove physics, but i have no ide what career id go into with that so maybe ill just do it on the side or something.
i have a little dream of being in the un so that where the foreign affairs comes in.
id also ove to have a career in agriculture or in the navy.
i always wanted to be vagabond, so that a large possibility. id travel all around the u.s with a back pack or something with little things in it, and id stick to backroads and stuff. occaisionaly id settle down to save up some money then move on, and someday id permanently settle down.
whatever i do, i am deffinately going to travel alot.
if somehow a special somebody stays in my life, i dont think it will effect much except my roaming dreams, but i hope not cause i want kids but not somebody to raise them with me preferably.

ok thats all for now

i need a woman...

2007-07-03T19:17:00.000-04:00

well im downstate on a unstable connection, as some of you may know...i had a post earlier that may have been worth reading, but then it disconnected and shut out all the windows, of course. so im gonna hurry. i bought a new tamagotchi and named him rocko :D.
i miss everyone real bad..i wish i could come up for the forth, but no-one is willing to take me up. makes me kinda sad..
i feel really wierd. maybe its cause i havent taken my pills in a while..i dont wan them anymore. feeling like that is just to wierd for me; id explain more but im afraid this will close out.
well i hope i come back soon..peace out!

a culture isnt a civilization untill it has architecture

2007-06-19T22:41:00.000-04:00

theres been alot onmy mind lately..i wish i could write it all down, but its in a tizzy and i cant. maybe i'll actually write it on paper. who knows. summer is boring yet good to me. i have a sweet tan =D
ive been having real good dreams lately. because of one of them i now love a certain george..but anyway. i wish we'd get a tornado. i really like them. theyre one of (or the) last things man doesnt know about on earth; all the things youve heard are theories. they might be somewhat true, but there are instances where they just dont work. i want to know more about them...
i hope people feel better. nobody that i know of deserves to feel blue.
good-night!

ugh

2007-05-31T22:56:00.000-04:00

oh boy...summer...im glad that i dont have to worry about schoolwork. but, i dunno...
anyway. my legs are all cramped up and its extremely uncomfortable. casey officialy broke my heart, but i'll get over it. who needs love when you have...drugs! im going to practice and get good at digging holes and making it look like nothing ever happened. cuz. i wanna ferret reeaally bad. i had a dream about one last night, which made this want even stronger. ergh.
today was really fun. i hung out with sheldon after shool till bout 3:30, then went to joe's cause they were locking up the school. funfun.
im going insane already and summer isnt a day old.

its cakeface

2007-05-12T20:20:00.001-04:00

feed it! make it FAT!

i have an unhealthy obsession with runescape

2007-05-08T21:50:00.000-04:00

ive thought about it...and i think im a bit too obsessive. not like ocd, cause thats like daily ritual stuff. maybe a better word is attached...like me with kyle, eating and runescape. i cant get enough, or in *his* case i cant seem to get over him. eh.
today was good; i got plenty of time to do work down by the loveshack. ive got a few ideas; its going to look so good down there. i wanna have a tea-party really bad, but i dont think anybody is willing to just sit down to drink tea and talk for an hour or so. well maybe a few...heheh im going to organize tea-parties. im such a looser.
BRIAN!!
well its in there, isnt it?
well im off cause cheryl just pulled in.
peace!

i cant forget me

2007-04-29T21:14:00.000-04:00

i gave madonna a haircut. she looks like a minischnauzer. one of these years im going to change my blog. just wait. i dont like school. i think thats the first time ive ever said that...but i've reallized things and yeah it lost its magick for me. although i think i'd miss mr. wilkenson. there are others that i enjoi being around and all...but yeah i'll just get off that topic.
ugh i feel all discusting inside. not physically but...yeah. i feel like my heart wants to throw-up. ew.
i <3>
eh i hope i can walk around town with brian somehow. i know nobody will want to come to pick me up...i doubt she'll even let me. but hey it's worth a shot. i guess i just gotta keep my eyes on the prize and i'll be o.k.

ahhh summer

2007-04-22T22:48:00.000-04:00

i hope she's here...ive waited long enough, damnit! well at least i got stuff done today. things are all good i guess except in my cute little messed up head...pills can't solve personal problems and i cant wallow anymore. i need someone to lean on...ell well maybe i should try being independant for once.
well if it stays this nice i want to have someone over next weekend really bad. i should go now seeing as im not supposed to be on and i require alot of sleep...night-night!

prohibition paper...dont read it unless your bored

2007-04-22T22:41:00.000-04:00

Almost any website one goes to will explain that prohibition was a complete failure, in relation to what it wanted to do anyway. Drunkenness and crime was at an all-time high, and rebellious was the way to be. But what is prohibition? Generally, it is the taking away or “prohibiting” of something, but in this paper I’m talking about when alcohol was restricted in the U.S between 1920-1933. I’ll be covering the issues leading up to and that may have cause nationwide prohibition, and what people did to avoid it.
During the late 1800’s and early 1900’s was the industrialization of America. In these big booming cities, there were a lot of hard working men who needed refreshment or escape from the busy stressful world around them, and they found this in beer. But, as one can imagine there were still a lot of people out there who were rural and against all this big business, namely puritans, plantation owners, etc. throughout these years they fought the alcoholism and apparent evil it caused by putting prohibition in certain cities and even states. (There was some crime going on to supply alcohol to these areas, but it was just easier to go to places were it was legal so there wasn’t a significant amount of it.) eventually it got to the point where they just up and petitioned the government for nationwide prohibition.
It is human nature to rebel; but there is more than that as to why there was such a struggle to get a hold on some spirits. First off as any AA member will tell you they were just plain addicted. But, from the flappers to jazz, the 1920’s was a very rebellious era. All the teens wanted to drink to make them look cool. The adults wanted to drink either because it was just a part of their life and no amendment was going to change that or they too wanted to do something risky.
A lot of people got a thrill out of providing the alcohol, too. I think the real genius was behind how they got around (and sometimes behind) the government in order to get the alcohol to the people. Now, the people who smuggled in the alcohol were called bootleggers, and the process was called bootlegging. The first thing that had to be done was to get alcohol to a safe place. The bootlegger would either get it from another neighboring country, or from home distilleries. Maybe they would put it in a fast boat or disguised truck and carefully take it to the bar. Or, in smaller portions people are said to have done everything from hiding flasks in their garters to hiding them in lunches.
Well once the wines and spirits arrived at the bar, or speakeasy, the owner had to find a way of hiding it incase of a raid, or more importantly keeping the whole operation private. I think it’s important to note that there were certain parts of the country where they didn’t have to be so secret. There was a street in New York where people say that every building along it was a speakeasy, and you could just walk right in and get a cold one. But in the much more frequent case of the secret speakeasy, usually there would first be a façade of an average store of some sort, the maybe there would be what looked like a closet door. If somebody knew the password, it would just be a closet door to them.
There were many ways in which an owner could hide their operations. But the owner also had to take into consideration the ‘what if’ when an officer did find out about the speakeasy and decided to hold a raid. There might be a chute staff could quick put beer bottles down, or in one case an owner was said to put five switches around the room incase a police man was by one, they could just go to the other.
If an owner didn’t want to spend their money and wanted a stress-free way out of it, they could just pay money to the system. It might cost more, but they wouldn’t have a thing to worry about either.
Throughout America’s history, there has been prohibition, but only once it became nation wide did organized crime become commonplace. It was the perfect opportunity for gangsters, and a preacher’s nightmare. America almost literally became alcoholic overnight, and whether this is a good or bad thing I guess just depends on your point of view.

haha funfun

2007-04-09T21:51:00.000-04:00

pile_of_pickles: the game didnt even start and im already owning
brian_empson: wow

sigh

2007-04-09T20:49:00.000-04:00

is there a such thing as 'compulsively obsessive"?

eh.

i'm so confused lately...i need stuff

arrrrrrrggh

2007-04-03T22:00:00.000-04:00

yep thats how i feel right now.
but i still care for him sooo much and he hurts me soo much...
ugh

step one

2007-03-27T19:22:00.001-04:00

acceptance

requiem to sanity

2007-03-25T21:55:00.000-04:00

i better start writting the requiem.

im sorry thats what reading lovecraft while listening to ozzy does.
its a nerd pun, you wouldnt understand.

well earlier i wrote out all the stuff i want to say to kyle, and now blogger is officialy pissing me off again (grrr) so ill leave now.

but anyways

2007-03-08T19:03:00.000-05:00

im quite sick at the moment; from what i hear its the flu.
im having a terrible time getting over kyle
im geting pills
and thats about it for now...
i hope one of these days i'll actually have something to say beyond an analysis of the land before time

im sooo motherfucking pissed at the moment

2007-02-26T19:58:00.000-05:00

i just went through the biggest load of shit just to sign in to blogger. they made me make a google account; i tried to use pile_of_pickles, but it says i already have one when i dont. so i may have to make a new blog or something. this isnt making me to happy. it gave me a choice to use old blogger before. grrrr

anyway
i want to tell somebody everything really bad
just...say everything thats been going on and my thoughts about and stuff...
i would like to put stuff here; i was about to, then i went through all that bullshit and now im a bit upset to.
so i guess im offf to try to save my blog
peace

i thought about it, i guess i need to focus on whats important to me..

2007-02-01T21:16:00.000-05:00

which includes love and literature. yep
i actually made a big long list of things i need to do, but i thought nobody would want to see that.
i just dont want to say anything here anymore. what i do say isnt worth a farthing; but i still keep my blog. dont ask why cause i wont answer (probably).
i left a little note on the desk in the i.s.s room and it makes me feel special.
i just wish kyle wants to come over thatll make me feel better

sbibbet of a convo between me and v

2007-01-13T22:45:00.000-05:00

v! birosh: oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhdarling sorry orgasim
pile_of_pickles: its spelled orgasm dear

im too sexy for milan, new york and japan

2007-01-11T22:15:00.000-05:00

theres almost nothing i love more than this song, besides singing along to it and dancing in my seat pretending it applies to me. yeah..if anyone asks me something like it, im going to say that i sit up at night pretending im sexy while listening to 'im too sexy'. AHAHA
well today was cool cause i got to go to enrichment most of the day and read 'the canterbury tales'. i should be off to bed...but leaving someone once they start a conversation with me just gets under my skin, especially when i never get to talk to that person.
ive also reallized what sick pleasure i get out of trying to make kyle feel bad...i shouldnt be allowed to love :p. or maybe i should just not do it.
ok thats enough unwanted information from me.
sweet dreams!

ja

2007-01-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

hmm...ive got a few 'reviews' written or at least somewhat written...fun fun. its my new study hall occupation.
in other news im freezing my nipples off. tomorow me and sheldon are gonna wear some fancy-pants outfits let me tell you what. oh yeah...the last post i didnt put the link to the new blogg for advice as to the template and whatnot. themiskatonicreviews.blogspot.com
catchy, eh?
miskatonic is a fictional university and river mentioned alot in lovecraft's stories. hey we all need something to obsess over. im owning at runescape or so id like to think. i make pies and cook meatses and fishes and i mine and make stuff with the ore and i fish...and thats about it but its real fun :D. ooo i can go to new yoke citah! im so excited. and sheldon and ben are going to...im going to find out all whos going tomorow and its going to be so much FUN! i wish i could somehow take kyle...cause taking a roadtrip with him is one of my many dreams. :D
theres something i should be doing...hmm
goodnight!

2007-01-09T22:59:00.000-05:00

well...i've reallized that i need to start learning and dreaming more...like about 7 months ago. i think i've changed since then...some of it is good; the rest i have no idea about, but i dont like it. so i'm reverting back to most of my 'old' ways...i think it'll make me feel better.
thats all i feel like saying...kinda tired and stressed and all that jazz

well i started

2007-01-07T19:32:00.000-05:00

to make the blog i was talking about earlier that is. the first thing i wanted to do was change the template, but i guess the one it has is good...i just have an issue with originality. i probably will be slow on putting things there, because i really have to think about things and go back and change things and whatnot...i cant wait. itll mostly be stories by lovecraft, but i'll put other things in there too of course. i think that steph's idea of putting musical reviews on there is great. i'm thinking maybe it could be reviews of arts in general. yep i think thats a good idea, cause literature and music just isnt enough. teehee i think i'm going to pop the big question tomorow. (no i'm not asking him to marry me)
well besides that...
the back of this chair is really warm. its nice but kinda freaky.
yesterday was awesome. i got to go to houston's. we sat there and talked then went to d.g for the first hour, then went to a play. i really wasnt impressed at all with it. i could ramble on about that but this isnt the place ;). well once we got back we sat there and talked about girly things, then i owned (i wish) at super smash brothers. all i ever use is bowser and jigglypuff, so i decided to try out fox and link. i liked the results like me tell you girl. i enjoi bowser's moves, but he's just too slow. that and jigglypuff without like a lightsaber or something just wasnt physical enough.
yeah i'm off to runescape and to collect some thoughts. tell me what you think of the new blog idea!
peace!

i need a massage..

2007-01-05T18:48:00.000-05:00

nothing much has been happening. i could babble on about the me and kyle thing...but i dont think anybody but me wants to hear about that. i'm kinda hungry and not exactly anticipating cheryls arrival home. emily and steph left a bit ago, and as they were driving out i had the biggest urge to moon them. but i didnt :). i'm so sore...and when i complained about it i just got mocked...which i guess shouldnt surprise me but it does. i'm thinking of starting a book review thing for various reasons, one of them being that books rock ;D. so do smilies. since kyle seems to not even want to reply to my notion of him coming over, i'm going to start investing in me and houston time, starting with a play tomorow. cause why should i stress myself out over wanting to be with him if he wont even reply to me? well that seems like an angry thing to say...im not. slightly frustrated...but excited to see if i can go to that play tomorow. and to start that book review thing. i just got an idea: i'll make it a blog, and if i find out that somebody else enjois reading with such a fervor as i, then we could share it! eeheehee i'm a mad genius. well cheryl's gonna get home soon, so i'm going to find something to clean so she has no reason to bitch ( although i'm pretty sure she still will)
alleswietersehn!

we can leave your friends behind (i like this post...letting people know how its going. dont worry its not sappy or sad or anything bleh like that)

2006-12-27T20:15:00.000-05:00

all i have to say is
i've been feeling so good lately. whether its a coincidence with that i am feeling loved by someone other than family for like..the first time (its quite blissfull) is for others to judge...i dont judge :). all my other emotions and issues and tissues are still unthankfully there...its just that on top of it all, i just feel so incredibly high all the time. i feel so elated most of the time, yet extremely light-headed and tizzy and i constantly forget you-name-it...its like theres a tumor in my brain, but somehow i dont care. cause i enoi dreaming...especially good dreams. but like all dreams i have, i've reallized the end for this one..but try not to think of it, except when i stop and collect my thoughts after i've figured out what the hell it is i'm doing and hope and pray that he won't move...ell well. i'm sure people with weaker constitutions than me (which is saying something) have been through alot worse.
although thats in the future so i dont even know if it will happen.
back to the mindless bliss.
oo everythings just so dreamy and floaty and i've been laughing and smiling so much more.
though...like at school when theres all those people around, i get incredibly confused and lost in my head and more than once have i almost passed out and/or hypervenillated...so if you see one or two people already bugging me, even if you're intentions are good, resist the urge to say hey. it would be appreciated, especially since i'm too much of a pussy to tell my peers that cause they'll most likely get upset with me.
spnx!!!

fuckshit

2006-12-21T21:07:00.000-05:00

i downloaded another java...this lets me blog, but it looks funny and i cant change my font.
well anyway alot of stuff has happened since the last enrty, and i just dont feel like writting it all down or dwelling on some things so i wont :)
i got back froma recital and it was awesome except emily wouldnt stop making me laugh and i peed myself :S. and on the way back i was dancing in my seat and hurt my back. but today was good. i gave presents today and it made me feel kinda happy. i couldnt stop hugging myself cause i thought kyle would have grown sick of me hugging on him. oo but i love hugging on him he's just so snuggly! eheehee i feel like snuggling now...better go find madonna...or not
well i've got myself daydreaming of the day we'll get to spend time together, so i'll go read now!
goodnight!

things i'm thankfull 4

2006-11-23T19:39:00.000-05:00

all i may do is bitch and complain on this poor blog...so i'm going to show the world just how thankfull i am for the life i have. its no no order whatso ever...but i would like to say right now that above all, i'm most thankfull for love. love is what makes me thankfull...its pretty much what keeps me going. theres hardly any love these days, so if any of you are lucky enough to give or recieve the love that i do, think of yourselves as very lucky indeed.

family

my mom
my dad
my sister
my grandparents
heidi
debbie
norky
peggy
nancy
nels
john
kathy
jane
denny
austin
josh
nicole
gale
dot
amy
ashik
roy
i consider kyle & steph to be family

friends

sheldon
paul
sammi
joe
brian
nina
sabrina
kasy
kaitlin r
diane
sara lou who
tami
carissa
houston
bonnie
greyson
maggie
allison

general things

video games
school & education
madonna
buddy
slinky
the other koi
johnny
little juan sanchez
food
drinks
books
art in all its shapes and forms (music, painting, sculpture, bodymod, etc.)
my house
my wonderfull country
science
math
backscratchers
all my possesions
funny things
reminescence
good times
imagination
flowers
gardening & landscaping in all its shapes and forms
glasses
the inventive genius
religion in all its shapes and forms
the army

well i hope your inspired to reallize just how many things you have to be thankfull for; and remember, there are millions in this world that may only have one or two of these things...if your the religious type, please pray for them.

friends

no dont drop me now; i'll sink into the underground

2006-11-22T22:45:00.000-05:00

all i want right now is some love..is that so much? people say its not gonna last...i dont care. i'm just going to do what i do when i encounter any other problem; ignore it and hope it gets better. ugh i wish it would get better though...i wonder if its a coincidence that quite possibly the worst time of my life happens to be right now...
but hey lets pull a liz and ignore this for the rest of the post
denny and austin and his girlfriend kila are up...she's pretty cool. school is going terrible. i got myself into debate even though i suck at every aspect of it. oh boy. i'm excited for thanksgiving though. kyle may come up sometime...maybe it will turn out good. i dont want to love anyone else...as you may know i'm rather pessimistic, and therefore think almost everyone else is idiots. yeah i'm pathetic. but what more can you expect?
alright i've gotten off topic. but hey who cares. i have more i want to write...but i'll write it somewhere else. just dont think i dont love him or something like that...thats just crazy. it's just his feelings i wonder about..
how did i know this was going to happen?

good morning!

2006-11-16T06:34:00.000-05:00

i never in a million years thought runescape would be fun. but it is! you can fish! ehehe its so much fun. although...everytime i log in all my stuff goes away. its quite frustrating. and my guy is sexy. he has gray hair (i love gray hair thankyouverymuch), a green shirt and black pants that look kinda like bellbottoms. i could have been a girl but...all their outfits look ugly. and they cant have gray beards. well theres these hats that are those conicle ones with the wide brim, and i want one really really bad. i would like one in tan, but all i see them in is black. ell well good enough.
besides that, i'm going to a play today, but the bus leaves at 9 so i get some time in school to see my friends :). ooo and brian said he'd let me keep the garfield book! i so glad. you have no idea.
i feel good. i have comfy pants on and a dressy shirt for today, i just hope it looks good. but i FEEL good! oh i feel so good--uh!
sorry about that.
well i hope everybody has a good day!

infatuation at its worst

2006-11-08T19:40:00.000-05:00

the trip was o.k. i neither enjoyed it nor disliked it. "nothing more to tell" -ozzy from sabbath bloody sabbath (im listening to it right now ;).
thats (one of) the problem though; i dont care about anything lately. i just feel completely blank about everything. it horrible. i dont even want to read much anymore. that and that other little emotion that i have no idea what it is...which in itself bothers me. i think that i cant wait untill this little thing is over, but i dont care enough about it somehow to know. ugh its to confusing...i need to think about and figure exactly what it is (besides depression, thats exactly what it seems like but im not sure) that is up.
well right now seeing as i dont care much about physics (AAGH), i want to major in music and minor in either math or cuisine...or both. i also want some business thing cause of how bad i want a hotel in louisianna, but unfortunately becuase of my current predicament. i cant figure out what i want to do in the future cause my mind doesnt seem to care. i do but it doesnt so i wont think about it. rather frustrating, and kinda confusing.
well thats all i have to say for now.
toodles

we all need some zlad

2006-11-05T20:43:00.000-05:00

you know whats sad...im having an easier time talking to brian than kyle.
ooh he's so awesome. i hope we can get to be friends.

i heart you to infinity and beyond kyle!

if i do have to be in love again, i'll be afraid to

2006-11-05T13:41:00.000-05:00

i always thought that one would have to be single in order to be hopelessly in love..
argh i cant wait for this little 'stage' to go away...depression just isnt my thing
dagonbytes isnt working. i was looking forward to continuing 'the shadow over innsmouth'.
and then theres those grades..arent helping my mood much
i'll just stop here...cause i dont have anything nice to say so i just wont say anymore

cause this may be the last time you hear the boogie song

2006-11-02T17:44:00.000-05:00

as for my body,,things arent so well. earlier i sneezed and blood went everywhere. when i went to the bathroom to wipe it all up, at least another half spoonfull came out. but i do feel about ten times better; you see, the polyp grew back, and that sneeze popped it. it was hard to talk and breathe. then theres max, and something else i wont mention...
but other than that im pretty cool. i have been in the back of my mind quite depressed as some people may have noticed...but i feel so much more calm lately. i love it. me and snugglemuffins had a little talk and things are quite better, from my point of view anyways. i think i got a little smile out of someone which makes me quite happy.
argh except for those stinkin grades.
ooo the party is tomorow. im hoping i can get as much lovin out of kyle as possible :3.
i keep on trying to find rashelle in the mornings so i can give her a bag of candy to give to sam, but i can nver find her...ell well i'll get lucky some day.
i have something i want to say to somebody...i dont want to here cause..i dont know. i just dont. its times like thses when i wish me and kyle were into the same things, besides music and video games.
argh those frikin grades. pray for me.
well goodevening/night.

2006-10-27T22:00:00.000-04:00

you may have noticed the absence of a title...thats because i dont love max much anymore and i cant think of another one at the moment.
well i got back from the game about a half hour ago, and it was awesome. i just wish everyone wasnt so cold. i also wish i could have brought like 10 more blankets so i could warm up everyone who wanted one. i tried to offer gloves and gator to people though..so at least i tried. but other than the weather it was awesome and im sad its the last one...
ARGH grades arent going so well for me..i raised the english but the bio went down.
ARGH-2 i cant get her off my mind...
anyways. i need more music selection; i need money so i can get one of those online things or something...then smore money so i can get an mp3 player. i also need a filter for the aquarium, to shave my pits, some nachos & salsa, more roms, to find my bat lights so i can decorate even more for hallows eve, a life, another earing (4g! im so happy...i may reach my goal :3), and thats all i can think of.
AG im still worried about school. thats what i need-- more hair loss. ell well its not like i have a shortage.
well goodnight! sleeptight!

havent been here in a while

2006-10-23T22:44:00.000-04:00

i need a miracle pill that will get rid of my stresses and worries and a.d.d, and i'll know everything thats in it. that would be awesome. homecoming awesome too. im pretty sad lately...but happy too of course. so i shouldnt complain. my hands are dry, so are my legs. i wish they werent. it would be nice if they always were...cause my hands sweat too much and yeah im rambling. i dont want creation to look at my blog so i decided instead to put all of the awesome links i have here on the myspace. except the other bloggers cause i dont know if they would appreciate that. sorry to ruin the fun but i gotta cut this short. beautysleep.

well

2006-10-11T21:13:00.000-04:00

nothing much to say...things are good. everything thing seems fine, except in one area, which has me utterly confused and such. but im not worrying about it cause my situation is good, im just worried about what it could be and how i could change it and other things. im glad. although im still failing english ...that deserves a sad face :(.

AAGGG if i am not already mad it is most certainly not mercy

2006-10-09T00:13:00.000-04:00

i think...as soon as i have enough money and am old enough i am moving to the remotest place in southern continental u.s and buying two hundred acres and becoming a recluse. yep. i want to do what i do any other time but this would be the last major; ill just turn my back on my problems and pretend they never existed. the world will go on and ill go back into decadence..ill have the sky to myself, ill be able to think, and maybe ill go insane so ill forget about humanity and how soory they are. life with it just doesnt seem good to me..ill forget about all those whom i cant love, and even if i dont..ill live.
but if i do that the love would gnaw and gnaw until i became so guilt ridden id have to show up again, only to find the world has gone beyond forgetting me and/or has left or died. ill live beyond thirty; everything will be wasted, and anybody who remembers me will want nothing to do with.

so ill be crushed again. the puree that is my heart will be shoved back into the garbage disposal.

maybe things do go in cycles..or maybe the fates are serious when it comes to what they do

some things to think about. i believe now that you cant escape 'fate', so dont try to or you'll end up like me.

painkillers

2006-10-04T21:10:00.000-04:00

yesterday there was alot of mone spent on me...both my own and the parents'. i feel quite bad about it, but hey. its not like its a bad thing getting some new clothes and such.
since i wasnt there, josh and jake were left by themselves...to cook...scary. well the chicken looks edible so im impressed. mrs. a expects alot from me since josh and jake dont even know what bisquick is, so it makes me incredibly nervous in that class...but it makes me feel kinda good too, cause i like make sure they dont mess up and stuff. its...cool.
ooo and today madel gave me a bunch of filler paper. it made me feel so incredibly warm and fuzzy.
i got a new earing, a new cd and shoes yesterday. haha when i went up to the cashier to ask how much the earing costed, i could not stop stuttering. it was extremely embarassing then, but now i find it pretty funny.
oh god i just read something. i think ill stop here before i get all emotional on blog. i wish i could talk though..

god hates the lords of salem

2006-09-27T20:23:00.000-04:00

when people do what they're best at, being difficult and frustrating and small minded and such, just remember; all in all, they're just another brick in the wall.

it was most deffinately my birthday

2006-09-22T05:23:00.000-04:00

it was an awesome day yesterday. i got all sorts of hugs, and even a couple of presents. once i got home i got smore of course. and a whole ass load of ice cream! i got a penis too...i dont think ill o into detail of all my wonderfulll presents yet. maybe later.
well lets hope steph remembers the holy grail today, cause ive been looking forward to it.
oh yeah and im gonna clipp my nails...cause...well i think we all know why. its for the best.
ive reallized just how incredibly awesome some of my friends are, and it makes me happy.
my face is a greasy mess, and madonna reaks of carrion. just thought id give everybody the heads up.
i think i got spanked more than fifteen times yesterday...does that mean im over 15 or just extra special? i think its the latter :3.
well good day to everybody!

heart attack time!

2006-09-19T21:43:00.000-04:00

hehe this is going to be a good weekend.
tonight was a good night.
im glad.

glasses

2006-09-18T19:39:00.000-04:00

i found this really really cool pocketwatch, but unfortunately im saving the money for a baby stuff shopping spree ;). hm. nothing really happened today, cept avette (sp?) said something today. it made me happy.
i dont think im going to talk about my emotional status for once in my life.
i have a lil piece of fat/cartilege in me teeth.

this will be the night the cat came and knew me

rocket chocolate

2006-09-13T20:57:00.000-04:00

i wants rocket chocolate for me birthday...but i think im already asking for too much.
well, incase you havent heard me yet, i already know how to read in russian, now im going to learn all the advanced stuff...once im all good at that ill move on to welsh.
my thigh itches.
aah never mind.
theres for once nothing really for me too say.
so goodnight

endoplasmic reticulum

2006-09-12T18:04:00.000-04:00

we had a bio quiz today.
well i be miserable...i gots a cold. its not much, but i rarely get them so it makes it sem worse. although me stomach is alot sicker than usual...maybe ill be sick enough that i wont go to school tomorow. wee happy thoughts for one and all. ARGH this is what happens when i dont get me 2-3 glasses of oj a day. i havent had any in like a week...now im a sneezing puking miserable snotrag.
i have both pubes and a crab on me arm :d. and thyre green
haha steph gave me crabs...well one anyways. but its a bigg 'un.
i got me birthday list all plotted out. i think i already said this but i dont care cause this is the first time in a long one that ive got them all plotted...mwahaha.
hehe ive been so social lately..its good. people that initially didnt mind me are nice to me, and people that initially didnt appreciate me really dont like me now. so all in all things are good, cause nice is better than appreciation, and the rest of the people i dont necessarily care about.
wellllllll that thing i said earlier about giving up my studies...thats a load of bullshit. i know that i can handle religion and science at the same time; just forget i ever said that. im going to keep it there though...dont ask why.
nothing much else to say, except may actully say hi to some people tomorow. yeah im getting daring
night!

football

2006-09-11T21:58:00.000-04:00

i dont think ill ever have that muchfun at a football game again. unless of course its a football game were talking about. i did that write ten things thing...it was fun and i hope people figure out whose to who, cause im too much of an idiot to tell people things myself. or not, cause then...well we all know how people are. today was a good day as far as hugs are concerned; i got plenty and they werent too rushed. thats one of the main reasons why i love the four minute switch; that and i get to take my time. not like i didnt before, but i can even more now.

k

2006-09-09T22:11:00.000-04:00

welll...im a confused camper right now. and whats worse is...over 2 things. for other people this may be ok...but im not good at being confused. or something
but anyways, last night was awsome and i just got back form the movies. it was ok...but afterward i saw a bunch of people including jesse (!) which ade my day. cause...he always showers me with lovins (and fags ;) and it makes me feel like a little less of a loser, and he's just like one of my best homies eva.
my fingernail polish is chipping. i may have to repaint. someday...
welllllll i feel really spiritually vacant right now, and i think its cause of my studies. so im going to stop. for any of you who dont know, physics is like...my life. so this is big. for me anyways...so ill probably post about it alot. haha im like mom quitting fags only more of a loser and less of a life. i guess as far as my actual 'spirituallity' is concerned im not lacking...but..i dont know. it would take a bit to explain and i dont feel like it. just generalizing here.
there was something else...that happened this week that i wanted to discuss..hmmm...i forget, but in the meantime ill talk about how jemima is bloating. she's bloated. before she was concave...now she's more like a blister than a crater. speaking of blisters..i got another two mystery blisters, and 2 mystery bruises, and only three weee little mystery scratches. yeah i think i might start keeping track of thses things...cause...i feel like it.
well thats enough for the mysteries for today.
oo i saw kayla yesterday too...i didnt know how much i missed her. i dont care how much she dissapoints me or how mch of a loser she thinks i am i think ill always miss her and such
i watched this thing on channel 3...it was like a comedy opera. maybe theyll show it again.
confusion confusion...hopefully it wont turn out bad. thats all i have to say.
goodnight!

weeeooooow

2006-09-06T20:38:00.000-04:00

i wanna say that really bad...
well i am overjoyed at my sidebar going back to normal. i was messing with the link0rs...silver moon is acting funny so i took it off and put on tribalectic, which i think is better anyways. then i put a little note for tcaep...i do not think that anybody but me goes to it and for good reasons, but ya never know. its helpfull, but none of the pages are coming up for me. so the note.
judas priest is officialy amoung my favorite bans...i mean i always loved them, but i just reallized how incredibly awesome they are compared to other bands...theyll make your ears bleed. in a good way.
eehehe dj is being nice...well maybe not nice, cause he's not really being anything, just kinda mellow, but its nicer than last year and it makes me happy. cause nice is always better than mean, even if someone does deserve it :). but thats just me.
haha in cuisine we made sketti, and everybody else was making these fancy dancy italian dishes, and it was funny...cause...ok ill stop with the cuisine humor.
i would like to announce that im going to the game on friday, and i would orgasm if people joined me. thats a good thing. cause for me theres nothing better than socializing! well almost...
my throat feels like ive been eating to many whiskey seeds. mm-mm now i wants some.
haha i just reallized how loud the music is.
ok goodnight all!

i love to say fuck

2006-09-05T21:07:00.000-04:00

haha i love that song. you should take a listen.
today was good, in school. um...thats about it. cept for my kidneys...they were hurting. well i dont know if its actually my kidneys...but its around that area and since i dont complain about it in school ill complain about it here: my 'kidneys' hurt today. whew.
the woodstoves were on taoday, and ost of the windows were open (dont ask), and there were all these flies...it was funny. it reminded me of scary movie 2
speaking of which, sara is going to have one of her awesome parties...not untill november 3rd but im still very excited because there always awesome; the people, food, movies, !super smash brothers which i OWN at!, did i mention the food? well its good.
i sweated like a french whore in church today. not really i just like to say that. cause its FUNNY.
welll i think ill just take the old backspace to that section...pop! all done. i almost found out if i have a talent today. but then i lost track...i guess itll just have to wait. well i guess i shouldnt say talent. but its almost right.
just pretend you didnt hear that.
welll im gonna delete the previous post...because..it shows too much of certain of my trains of thought, and i didnt quite word it right so i dont want people to get the wrong idea. sooo dont think anything personal of me or you about it...but it is a good thing to think about, although i dont anybody will think about it very good/thouroughly. maybe someday...
anyways, im very happy with the progress of my ear...maybe ill get around to starting the other one soon.
i fel like talking or socializing or something...i thought id get my fix with school but i wants more...im a conversation addict. emily is to peanut butter as i am to a good healthy conversation. maybe thats why i love to blog...cause its like a conversation with myself. i dont mean to say that i have them with myself all the time anyways (teehee im good at keepig myself company) but...this way i actually know what im saying...haha i sound crazy. but its da damn straight truth.
i have a genius for a computer.
and thats all i gotta say!
goodfuckingnight!

you know what, love does stink

2006-09-01T20:34:00.000-04:00

but thats just me and people like me shoudnt in the first place.
i made a pizza today. it was good. im back into blather and earlier i was happy but then came back down to earth and remembered about that place festering with people we call school. ew. dont get me wrong; theres a whole bunch of people i love dearly, but for the most part they discust me in evry way. its...so embarrassing. ergh! they bother me endlessly.
pessimistic (sp?) speech over, but expect more. yay.
arr but i do wish they would shut up, then i would too so dont worry and we'd all be happy.
ok now im really done.

well as far as my studies go today was a good day, cause i could concentrate on my reading and have come up in two theories in one day. woot for me, damnit! when will i have something good to say? the world may never know. maybe when something good for you to read happens.
good night to all!

*big fat important note: if you are reading this, cause only like a hand full of people and some spammers know about me blogg, then please dont take any offense. i just need to vent. ALOT. cause frustration leads to depression, and we all know what that leads too and i dont know about you but i dont like it.

crap part deux

2006-08-31T21:13:00.000-04:00

actually this is in no way a continuation of the last post in any way, i just think it sounds cool. and the last one was only a half a post (dont ask, cause i dont know) so i thought id honor it. school was ok. except my nail paint is starting to chip :(...but that just means ill have to paint them again! oh no the terror! hehe. once they get really chipped i think ill paint them red again. not sure. cause i really like the white, so i thought 'maybe i should paint them red and white', but that reminds of something in which i dont even know what it is so im not sure on that either. were making pizza in intl cuisine. oo and mr grumbles was nice, and jake is in our class too.
i put this link0r for a really cool site. well i think its really cool, but thats just cause im a nerd like that. its called tcaep, but im not sure why but you should at least glance at it anyways cause it may come in handy. haha im business merrick gave us this paper with questions that reviewed our reading, which was about planning and long/short term goals and so forth. well a question was 'what long term goal do you have?' or something along those lines. i wrote down my answer, and then he asked us and i told him,' i want to get every possible square inch of my face pierced. it was funny his reaction and all. but its the truth! i love piercings and body modification in general, but besides my ears, i dont think im going to do hwat i plan on doing untill i move out, cause i dont think my dad would appreciate it and i care about what he thinks thankyouverymuch.
nothing else fr me to jabber about, so goodnight!

crap!

2006-08-30T21:17:00.000-04:00

yeah i be constipated...anyways school was...better...today. mr.grumbles wasnt grumbly which almost made me happy. then i came home and cheryl came home and she was of course going on a rampage. so i went out and mowed le lawn. when i came back in, cami and steph (asin short for stephanie) were there, and since they were there cheryl decided to appologize for her actions. i reluctantly accepted, cause otherwise she probably would have rampaged again.
im taking back up my studies, which makes me feel good also. why, i dont know...i have no idea why cause its not like...anything really. hm.

maybe i should...

2006-08-29T21:27:00.000-04:00

today was ok. lunch was chaos and after that my classes were bleh as ever. haha but i can fit my bracelet in my ear...it makes me feel good. i dont think im liking school as much as i thought i would...i thought maybe i would enjoy being around my friends, but...i dont know. i guess id rather just sit around all day learning about stuff i care about without being surrounded by idiots. theres a few people i enjoy being around and can actually talk to...but everyone else just irkes me. i guess thats what i get for being a reformed pessimist. haha i always berate my dad for being one, when he actually isnt hes just a jackass but i think i hate the human race even more...i amaze myself. whats worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees. hahahahaha i love that joke...i had to jolly up the blog a bit so i thought id post it.
ive been thinking alot lately about what im going to do with myslef, because what im doing now, i just dont think is going to work out, or make things better. well ive reallized that evrything i do or will try to do is not only pointless but ill mess it up anyways so i think ill take a different route...maybe something will come out of it. who knows. i really really wish i didnt have to go to school now cause my peers are all idiots and make me uncomfortable and i prefer comfort. comfort is good...sorry. hm me foots asleep. i got a plan...tomorow morning im gonna do some magic so i can concentrate and maybe my day will be better. haha...magic...i crack myself up. i guess ill have to go soon and set the alarm then so i can get up bright n early. bye!

school

2006-08-28T21:07:00.000-04:00

im not sure what to say about it. theres things i like and things i dont...im just happy that ill get to see sam for a while. i feel kinda bad going on about it cause somepeople told me they arent happy with their current position and i want to make it all better for them but cant and it makes me a sad camper.
so anyways. nothing really happened except cheryl made me kill my grandbabies...its bad enough to have them die, but to leave them out in the wild, where theyre gonna die...it just broke my heart. somebody might say 'but theyre JUST mealworms'...but we're just humans so we shouldnt be talking. i loved them very much and am getting emotional about them so ill stop.
i cant beleive chuck cut his hair...i barely know him but his hair was just so..awesome.
im thirsty after all those m&m's, cause they had peanuts.
i read three more stories from my awesome new book. its the complete works of edgar allen poe (whom i think is almost as good as lovecraft) and i loove it. im gona read that at home and the ellegant universe at school. it was going to be the other way around but the former is huge and i think its better that way for some reason too. if you dont know what the ellegant universe is, you should deffinately ask me cause its one of my favorite topics although i tend to stutter. ask anyways! well back to the poe. ok nm theres just not much else to say cause im sure i dont have to explain him casue im sure thre are no losers here who havent read his works.

you should deffinately read this

2006-08-25T21:27:00.000-04:00

its so funny, but so true. i couldnt stop laughing, although i cant say that wearing paper clips for piercings is a bad thing...

It arrived with the same rhythmic certainty as nightfall's earlier descent. With each passing August day, the impending season sent its signal. Crisp seersucker must cede to red tartan, so Mom hauled us to Gimbel's. Bobbie Brooks and Buster Browns were our raison d'etre during the annual ritual of back-to-school shopping. Children on the first day of school, in brand-spanking-new clothes and shoes whose clean briskness will give way to playground dust in just hours, offer sweet reassurance that mothers and fathers care and the world will survive. However, the Wall Street Journal reports that parents now pass on school shopping, sending their cherubs to the wilds of the suburban malls to handle shopping chores on their own. Parents grew tired of accompanying their offspring to stores whose ambiance demands music that shakes the liver. Gallstones rattle from the volume and incessant beat. With rap grunge dirges, teen shopping is a two-Tylenol-per-hour experience. Weary from these suburban anthropologic experiences, parents have made a mistake. They release their children close to the jaws of hell: mall specialty clothing stores. These stores were incorporated with the progeny of Beelzebub as the target market. For example, a store called Hot Topic, decorated in black and red, has lettering that looks like a "Rosemary's Baby" or "Exorcist" kind of promotion. Hot Topic carries much leather and many chains, combined, oddly enough, with red plaid skirts. It's Hell's Angels merged with Talbot's. The hired help in all teen apparel stores are sights to behold. At a "Hot Topic," into which I was sent unarmed for a benign little "Wonder Woman" wrist band, the cashier appeared to be chewing on two paper clips poised at each corner of his mouth. Prepared to issue motherly warning about the risks of choking, I approached with advice and cash for my meager purchase. Upon close contact I realized that Satan's minion had both sides of his mouth pierced and the paper clips were the oral earrings of choice. His parents' school shopping involves one stop at Office Max, for school supplies and accessories, complete with soothing Muzak. No store can top Abercrombie & Fitch as a wake-up call for parents. This store needs a "no child under 17 permitted without parent or guardian" warning. A&F greets you with a 10-by-12 portrait of a naked girl caressing a boy on each side. Stopped dead in my tracks at this menage a trois above the cash register, I recalled that I once shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch, a formerly staid preppie haven for people who found nakedness in the shower to be one of life's awkward moments. Button-down collars, blazers and pink and yellow socks were once the A&F inventory. No more! Abercrombie & Fitch has become Sodom & Gomorrah. Apart from the art naked deco room-size portraits of very thin people involved in sensuous activities, A&F offers a full line of sexual decadence. For $16 the youths can purchase a subscription to A&F Quarterly. Thankfully, the cover of the fall offering, "The Sex Ed Issue," is covered with a plain white wrapper that includes only a list of articles to wit, "Get Naked at Yale Party with Porn Stars in Your Dorm Room." Without this tasteful cover, you and your children would see a color portrait of two naked men and a naked girl (you're catching the 2/1 theme in A&F photos) in a car, with tasteful leather seats. Inside this 280-page tome are many naked people. I am not a marketing expert, but it seems to me that a store trying to sell clothing might be better served by featuring models with said clothing on. There's also an interview with Donna Brazile, the former Gore campaign manager, who explains she would walk 2-3 miles "just to piss off white people." Merv Griffin is also interviewed. Both are clothed; Merv in silk pajamas. This quarterly began several years ago when the A&F catalog offended most whose mailboxes it hit. Parents protested. So, A&F brilliantly stopped sending the catalog except to those who pay. We were so effective in our protests that A&F now sells quarterly subscriptions. The nudity and sexual obsession are only the beginning. A&F is socially irresponsible in more than sexual content. It pays miserly wages to high school and college students (called brand representatives) and then requires them to wear A&F clothing. A pair of this fall's jeans there can set you back as much as $98. Ah, that union label. The BRs work to buy A&F clothes. A net loss in wages may not be such a good economics lesson for the lads and lassies. A&F has outperformed the Dow Jones for most of the past five years. Its margins are 20 percent of sales, among the highest in the retail industry. It opened 112 new stores in 2002; read all about it in A&F's annual report (cover features a shirtless male, solo — propriety rears its ugly head around shareholders). A&F now expands its smut with an Abercrombie Kids line. Just the suggestive A&F sells grade schoolers. They don't want A&F clothes for their quality (not there) or look (not unique). They want the clothes because behind every A&F is the thought of S&G. Parents abandoned back-to-school shopping. While the cats were absent from the malls, the rat clothing retailers such as A&F slipped in sex and thongs amidst decibels of music. Every parent should boycott this sleazy store. Hot Topic at least has clothed, albeit paper-clipped, derelicts.

pictures

2006-08-22T10:29:00.000-04:00

i finished putting all the albums in the photo album that are recent. that means they were taken this year. if you are one of those people who just want to look at one of them, look at the favorites one. cause as you might have guessed, they are all of my favorite pictures and i like them and so on.

hooray for boobies

2006-08-21T22:21:00.000-04:00

yesterday we went shopping and i got actually bras that make my boobies look they exist. its awesome. cause the other ones werent even bras...they had no support. but they were soooo comfey. so i call my new ones my boobies. so if anyone heres me say 'i got boobies!', i didnt get plastic surgery...just bras.
anyways. on to the thoughts
theres alot on my mind; i want to say so much, and i want to say it to kyle, cause thats what he's there for...but i sound crazy and i dont want him to think that and i dont think he would understand me. i mean he would try, but...its just beyond him i think. i mean beyond his understanding. ok that sounded really mean. but some people have different levels or modes or ways or SOMETHING of thought, and ours are just so different...but i love him lots so dont think im trying to sound mean. this makes me feel like 10 times more lonely than i already am and i want to see him really bad but GR i cant. we're just a pathetic mess. but hey thats what phones and school are for. but...as i think about it, now i cant love on all the people that i used to...and i love me some lovins. haha we're the typical teenage story. but then again i dont care cause im so lonely, and he's so lovey and eee.
on to another topic.
emily'sbeenmeanfornoreasonanditrytobereallyniceasicanwhilestilltryingtostickupformyselfbutshesnotusedtoitsoshethinksimtryingtobenegativebut im not im reallynot and it makes me soo incredibly depressed cause i love her so incredibly much but when she acts like that its like a slap in the face...
nother topic-
cant wait for school. not really. maybe. i cant wait for the friends but i can wait for all the negativity.
there are other things i want to talk about, but i dont have them ready in my head so ill just wait till later.
final note-
i really do love everybody very much, i just have a hard time with showing it and dealing with bad reactions and such.
good night!

lightbulbs!

2006-08-18T07:55:00.000-04:00

last night, i took apart two lightbulbs and i feel addicted. it is so much fun. so, if anyone has any spare or burned out or whatever lightbulbs, give 'em to me! it would be highly appreciated :3. i guess you could just bring them toschool in a little box or something...garlic slept for 11.75 hours, just like his mommy! well last night i got by with just eight hours, and i feel fine. im hopefull. i hope max isnt jealous or anything. my ear hurts. hm. i think if i wait an hour, i might actually be hungry. yay me! miss being hungry.well my bee sting is officialy agravating me. i wont go on about it dont feel like it. peace!

this is, i fear, an outline of my motivation

2006-08-16T16:16:00.000-04:00

Life is a hideous thing, and from the background behind what we know of it peer daemoniacal hints of truth which make it sometimes a thousandfold more hideous. Science, already oppressive with its shocking revelations, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species -- if separate species we be -- for its reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world.
h.p. lovecraft

rar

2006-08-15T22:31:00.000-04:00

yeah i enjoy saying ^. i dubbed emily's amazing brownies that she made last night amazing-brownies, cause theyre amazing. bands should be more like metallica or black sabbath...anyways the bee sting i got a week ago is white and red and puffy and itchy and hard. maybe i should do something about it. my goal for this week is to actually do some curl ups cause im sick of my mini rolls and to re-pierce my poor left ear. oo did i tell you about garlic? hes my tamagotchi and i love him. very much. haha im like those gay commercials and adds, where theyre little slogan is like a sentence only with a period between each word...they annoy me so. well i feel kinda good. well as far as emotions and psyche go...beyond that im like a swirling vortex of uncomfotableness and unhealthyness and in the mornings and night my intestines and 'reproductive organs' hurt ALOT, and other things, but my conscious is clear. ahh. well i think that i have one of those tapeworms, and maybe thats the cause of my pains and discomfort in my abdomen. i kinda like him...i had a name for him but i forget what. im thinking maybe vince or maximillian...cause im convince also that its a he. even if i dont have one...i dont care. its a nice thought for me, to always have i little buddy other than garlic and madonna and my mealworms and fishies. bunny doesnt count cause she hates me :'(. wow this is alot of worthless shit im typing. oo i likes, no lurves this song. its devil's dance, by you guessd it, metallica...it reminds of the good old days (about 2 years ago haha). inside joke between me and max. earlier i was excessively, i mean FREAKISHLY hyper cause of emily's amazing brownies...so i had a liz seizure which consisted of me hitting everything within reach, throwing things and giggling obnoxiously and nonstop. it was fun. ok thats enough..for now.

right

2006-08-13T22:47:00.000-04:00

i have nothing to say. except how discusting my nose is. its chaffing and blistering. hm. yeah thats all

just call me kentucky-fried-face

2006-08-10T21:16:00.000-04:00

yeah my face got sun fried.

anyway. i never thought in a zillion years i would have 'relationship' troubles, let alone a relationship. in a nutshell in the endings of the school year i thought i would join marching band. haha liz. haha. it turns out that, just like everything else in life, i still failed to do something like playing bass drum. i think we all know how good my concentration level is, and to boot i cant keep time if my life depended on it. now, i absolutely adore marching bands, and it was assloads of fun being around all my friends and whatnot, but i just dont think it would be fair to the band to have someone like me on it. that and i need to concentrate on the things i already have going on im my life. what does this all have to do with my beloved? he's rather upset with me cause he really loves band and probably wont stop making me feel like even more of a lump of shit than i already do about it untill...i dont know, cause i dont want to rejoin. i dont see why he cant just understand my position and be cool with it.

beyond that i caught a really cool moth and stuffed my face with corn and now i feel obese.

o-m-g lots

2006-08-05T09:50:00.002-04:00

as to the title...i like the word omg, how its just so funny, and theres lots here to read!

8-3-06 thursday

today was awesome. around maybe 12 or something me and emily left to pick up empson, then kyle then we would go to the milport fair.!. once we got to empson's, nobody was there so we went inside and watched tv for an hour or so. after that, once we picked him up and all, we went to get poochy and on to the fair. there was a big storm which was interesting, and once we got there we just sat to let it pass. well after that we got out and nothing really interesting happened, untill i boarded the *sizzler*. that thing was so incredibly awesome. well after that we walked, and i saw joe and just about wet myself. that was the highlight of the month. well last month too. the whole summer i had no idea i would miss him that much. he seemed really out of it though...and sad and tired. well, if said person is reading this, i just want to apologize for not having the sense to ask whats the matter. i feel really bad about it now...joe, i hope evrything's alright in joeland!

8-4-06 friday

yesterday wasnt really to interesting, except me and emily ent to genese and that was a blast. but...then i mowed the lawn and got a shower. oh yeah andthatmorningkyleaskedmeoutandaftersomethoughtisaidyes. i thought,'the other person you love oh-so-dearly is probably sick of you and wouldnt even consider considering you...yik who would? shes in love with -him- anyways...get a life man.' teehee. giggle.

today-

its just about 10 in the morning. i missed telling emily goodbye...she left for a week. i would have went, actually i really really wanted to, but band is one of my top priorities right now. yeah im practicing 'self discipline'. and i really suck so i need all the practice i can get. well yeah i have the house to myself untill noon, which is great. cheryl's coming home at twelve. she probably wont bother me cause i did chores yesterday and ill be down at the loveshack estates anyways.

well

2006-07-31T20:40:00.000-04:00

this weekend i went to a going away/late b-day party for ashely. before we werent the best of friends but now we're ok and its awesome. i stuffed myself with marshmallows, played army with maggie and chatted with kaiti's parents. there was a bunch of people there, although most of them i wsnt well acqainted with so at first it was kinda uncomfortable...but i did get to socialize a little bit with bonnie, and after they left we partied like it was 1999. i didnt sleep the whole time...i thing that was the first time i stayed up for over 27 hours and had fun. all and all it was great but now im kinda lovesick...:P. well i cant wait to go to the millport fair, tami's gonna have a party and i dont have a doubt that ill be able to go cause she's providing the transportation ;}. i went swimming earlier, i have accumulated skullcap and its all dry and ready and i cant wait, i should be practicing, im utterly confused about my religous things so if someone is kind enough to talk about it it would make me feel so good, im getting off topic and used two smileys in one post which is a record but im gonna break it cause i got my period ;D. yeah i feel bipolar right now...well i think the cause for all my recent depression and such is cause i think im losing my faith, and its just making me so incredibly said...i wish there was someone who took religion seriously enough and that was nice that i could talk to...thats why im putting it here. cause i loves my blogg so much and its like talking to some one and its better than writting cause ill just go on a rampage some night and throw it out but im not about to throw out the computer so this is really handy and apart from the occasional high keeps me from going insane or something close to it. whew. i truly feel better now. you should try going on like this...it makes one feel good for some reason.

oh gosh

2006-07-19T15:12:00.000-04:00

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?Hot air for a cool breeze?Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.Wish you were here.

i just listened to that, and i think i understand it thoroughly. it made me get all emotional and made me wanna cry, but then i saw a advertisement on google that involved the word ecstasy. emily's outside mowing and being helpfull and im just sitting here being lazy. i should go outside and do something. in a bit. well yesterday was just the shiz. speaking of shiz, i came up with a new saying while munching cashews. 'this is the shit and a can of chashews'...get it? instead of bag of chips its can of chashews. well im currently talking to the sexiest woman on the earth, and the 2nd sexiest just logged on so im gona go now. ;>

mealies! and ice-cream!

2006-07-12T23:00:00.000-04:00

a month or two ago, my darkling beetles laid eggs. i did not think they would hatch for some reason, but they did. they are so incredibly precious. yesterday i had three medium ice creams and one large. it was sauwesome.

...

2006-07-10T12:07:00.000-04:00

well i re-did the test thing at the top. i feel it is alot more accurate now, so if you dont know anything about me for some reason, that might help ;). ill just re-write yesterdays post. on the nineteenth sara is having a party, and i cant wait to go cause ive been feeling quite glum and nina always loves on me. yap thats all i really said yesterday but it upset me that it didnt get posted so i decided to post it again just to spite blogger and their post dissapearing ways. well i made 'sketti and it is absolutely divine. its al-dante and then some. ok nothing else really to say except I LOVE YOU ;)

i...am...so dissapointed

2006-06-29T19:58:00.000-04:00

to-day was the day that i was going to work on my myspace layout. but whenever i put something in, it wont work. its sad. but other than that i am un-explainably excited for this weekend. and i just saw something i didnt need to. well i have nothing else to state. peace out!

yesterday was fun

2006-06-26T22:13:00.000-04:00

and today cheryl gave me this really funky hairdo that makes me feel uncommonly silly. me and her went to rite-aid. i was wearing my pink paisly sun-drees, and i must say this about tripled my silliness. i was sitting there gawking at these fan-squirt bottle thingies, when this really tuff and grr looking guy comes in. when he first came in i looked up to see who it was, and in the process dropped the bottle thing, which fell on the rest of them. in my sad attempt to keep them from falling, i must say he looked shocked and i bet i looked like the most comical idiot ever to disgrace this earth. i am officialy a loser. but i did get some white nail polish so i can paint me nails red-white-und-bloo for this weekend! woo i cant wait

i actually really dont feel like typing this but i guess i should

2006-06-16T23:40:00.000-04:00

well today was quite possibly one of the greatest days i have ever had. it started when emily called newel this morning, and he asked if she could come to watch the veggie stand while he and mike and cj went for a little trip. she said sure, and of course i tagged along cause its just so much fun there. well newel and them didnt get around to going for a while, so we got to socialize which was fun. we cleaned up the stand, which was really really fun for me, watered and sold plants and whatnot. then towards the culmination of these activities bevy invited me over to the porch to socialize, which led to us eating pine-apple and watching the polar express, which was a good movie. my im using which alot.well once this was over, we drove home (**cause emily got het license!**), but stopped at empson's which i must say was quite exillerating. a bit after we actually got home, cheryl called and this call ended up in us going grocery shopping. well i dont think the dg will ever be the same after i used their rest facilities (i really need to get more fiber in my diet), and we saw heather & kyla at costas which was fragrantly stupendous. i love adjectives. welll i miss everybody tremendously, so just imagine me giving you a big big hug right now! good night!

i ♥ disturbed

2006-06-15T23:13:00.000-04:00

they are somewhat commercial on their 10 thousand fists album, but the music sounds good, and the sickness sounds marvellous or however ya spell it. but anyway my hands are cold, and there is this beetle that looks like a darkling beetle except for the fact that it is flying, and it is making really sick noises. hmmm. ah i should be a thing. i forget how it is spelled but yeah. i cant beleive how little i have been posting and i have to say. kinda creepy. well its a shmossibility that we will be going to the movies, so hook a sister up and join us! cause its rv, which seems like one of those movies where one would just want to sit there and socialize instead of actually watch it...ok good night everyone!
-hugs-

dont want a title!

2006-06-08T22:41:00.000-04:00

wow its been awhile. well i feel completely and utterly terrible...i feel entirely too depressed and my head hurts and got a funny feeling in my stomach...i need hugs...just had to get that out of me chest. you know thats what journals are for! so anyway i went to see mrs croft-a-mama in the hospital today and it was great. i got rubbers and everything, only they werent latex :P. talking bout gloves! perverts. im still wondering what my daddy has against sleeping in. well the pressure in me head is starting to get unreasonable so ill stop thinking now. so long and much love

bloo\long one should read all cause i worked alot on it

2006-03-21T23:40:00.000-05:00

i was reading my moms rn-nclax prep. book, and there was these questions about people who were 'diagnosed' with sadism...thats just sad (pardon the pun). i didnt think that how people 'do' things (haha another pun) could be diagnosed...like it was a disease or something...so i looked into it and found that a paraphilia is anything 'sexually deviant'. so i decided to go through a list of all of these (ie sadism, fetish-ism, necrophilia, voyeurism) and see what if i were to go to a clinic or something what i would be 'diagnosed' with. brace yourself! : fetishism, frotteurism, masochism, sadism, voyeurism, apotemmnophilia, necrophilia, kleptomania, partialism, pyromania, somnophilia, and stigmatophilia. well there yeah go. i have more paraphilias than you can shake a stick at. i added a bunch of pictures to the yahoo pictures thing of mine. its so handy...it doesnt take too long and is nice and simple for people like me...so if you have photobucket or something gay like that like i once did, screw that (not literally you fetish-ists!) and get yahoo! weeeeeeee. i find it strange that i am attracted to corpses...well heres some definitions for those of you who have no dictionaries or who have not found the splendors of dictionary.com.

fetishism (i find it odd that someone would not know what they are)-The act of using a fetish for sexual arousal and gratification.
frotteurism- the paraphiliac practice of achieving sexual stimulation by touching and rubbing against a person without the person's consent and usually in a public place called also frottage
masochism (or this)- 'enjoying' pain on oneself
sadism (or this)- 'enjoying' inflicting pain
voyeurism- watching people undress or do sexual acts without them knowing
apotemnophilia- ?
necrophilia- having desire for a corpse
kleptomania- obsessive impulse to steal regardless of economic need, usually arising from an unconscious symbolic value associated with the stolen item.
partialism- having a fetish with one part of the body (like skin)
pyromania- fire fetish!
somnophilia- aroused by fondling etc. someone who is asleep (creeepyy)
stigmatophilia- arousal by being/getting pierced; a paraphilia in which sexual excitement depends on piercing or tattooing the body.

***incase yoo are retarded, some of these i defined myself...i think they are self evident

i read one of 'somebodys' posts and i will do the same. its such a good idea to get these things i would like to say off my chest. i dont care how i just sounded cause its the truth. yap. 10 things in no particular order that i would like to say to some people.

1. thats just sick. get over your dykey self...
2. why him? i dnt understand
3. youre so awesome! i lovelovelove you!
4. sometimes i wonder why you havnt conqured the world CAUSE YOUR SO AWESOME
5. ho
6. why do you do that? it makes no sense and doesnt make me feel to good either...
7. how could somebody possibly be like you? it just seems impossible to me that someone could actually act like that and keep a straight face, let alone friends. its so fake...you should just stop before people wisen up and see through you. GRR
8. why the hell are you with her? shes like way better than you, and im all too sure that you really do love her...shes so innocent and young...why do you have to come along and ruin it for her?
9. no i cant come up with any reasons that im better...sorry..hugs good enough?
10. you were so awesome...then yoo had to go and be an idiot...you were the best...people like you frustrate me because your so awesome but ruin it like something stupid like that.

rr

2006-03-17T03:21:00.000-05:00

i had a post about my awesome last weekend but it *dissapeared* so im not gonna re-do the whole thing like i usually do but ill just say that it was shifty. omg she has me saying that too now. well everybody thinks my nail is green...its really starting to creep me out. hmmm thats all for now i guess

i feel so terrible

2006-02-23T21:42:00.000-05:00

this is two days in a row that i have failed to keep a decent seat available for sam. next time i dont, you should slap me. yap

holy schit

2006-02-20T12:43:00.000-05:00

this weekend i was a social butterfly. on thursday i went to le dance which yoo will also hear about in a different post, then on friday i went to saras party which lasted till saturday, and once i got home about a half an hour later i went to houstens. once i got THERE (at about 2) i sat there and played mario cart and super smash brothers untill about 6, because then we went rollerskating. it was ass loads of fun. then lets just say for the most part untill i left i played ssb. when i finally got home i did close to nothing. wow. if anybody has any c.a smith or c.s. lewis books yoo should let me read them. it would be nice, seeing as i might go nuts otherwise. well have a nice day all

i <3 kisses

2006-02-17T09:52:00.000-05:00

which is why i lurve valentines day. hershey kisses you idiot! although i did get some real kisses which was nice..i went to the dance last night and it was rather entertaining even though i missed out on an opportunity to spend some time. grrr im such an idiot...

haha im sick

2006-02-07T22:33:00.000-05:00

well tomorow is joe's b-day. i was originally going to crochet him a penis-cover, but then decided not to. thats all

as to the title,i must say ive come,slowly but yes, to reallize i have quite the fascination with pale/white skin. i wouldn't want it myself,but i am becoming obsessd by it. sick passion is the word for the day; ell well i guess that ill just put it on my obsessions list...
-~-
Jetzt hast du Angst und ich bin soweitmein schwarzes Blut versaut dir das Kleid

Mein schwarzes Blut und dein weißes Fleischich werd immer geiler von deinem Gekreischder Angstschweiß da auf deiner weißen Stirnhagelt in mein krankes Gehirn

Jetzt hast du Angst und ich bin soweitmein krankes Dasein nach Erlösung schreitdein weißes Fleisch wird mein Schafottin meinem Himmel gibt es keinen Gott

tonight we went to the movies

2006-02-04T22:49:00.000-05:00

at first i was content, becasue i got to spend time with people, later i was glad becasue i remembered about a certain some-one, then was glad becasue he didnt come. i guess it was rather win-win; although i could have had more sweedish fish...

I LOVE SSAAALSAAAAA!

2006-01-22T21:24:00.000-05:00

thats all i have to say

here lies my lifes other main goal:

2006-01-22T00:27:00.000-05:00

Crusties
People who favour dread-locked hair and a reluctance to wash though interestingly there is no evidence that the first Crusties were French
Natural habitats include caravans, trees and folk music festivals
Fond of playing the didgeridoo, tugging dogs along on rope, smoking pot and drinking cider
Prefer living with animals rather than eating them
Generally harmless, especially if stoned

gffsxgx

2006-01-16T20:55:00.000-05:00

im making a yahoo photos thing cause i already have a photo bucket, and not only do you not need to see whats on that one but i dun feel liike making another. so THERE. im in a good mood. m-hmm. emily walked on my back and it felt sooo good, then i tried walking on her back and it didnt necessarily work out.....aaa my polish is coming off! can somebody do my nails for me the next time, cause im not really good with this whole at least three coats thing...i usually end up royaly messing it up then it chips off abnormaly easi- and fastily. so yeah hook a sistah up. the subway in that one place (i forget its name) is like 10 thousand times better than the coudy one. i watched star wars ep. III revenge o' da sith like 3 million times. more like 2 1/2, but thats not the point. yay im gonna wear a thongg-g-g-g-g sometime this week...ok bye

new plan/tribute to one of the best people ever

2006-01-14T23:34:00.000-05:00

first, i am going to get a rather long knife and pry open his ribs. then once they are out of the way, i will eat his heart. ill try and be fast so the bitch can watch...last time he'll mess with her...dun know how but hey i can dream. and, i would like to say that kaitlin reed (haha i prolly spellt that wrong) is one of the best people ever, and if she is currently reading this, i gotcher back ho! yeah shes the shit and a bag of chips. but ne ways i just watched not only the matrix revolutions but march of the penguins, and for tomorow will be star wars III and beauty shop. good gravy im hot...im almost sweaty...i should go outside for a few secs but i dun feel like it. i broke a nail today. ok happy travels

4:2-

2006-01-10T16:28:00.000-05:00

it was 4:20. now i have no idea what time it will say on the post, because the little time majig has dissapeared. i dun like it. all in favor say nigga pleez, or say nothing if you dont agree or if this is only happening to me...

itchy

2006-01-08T20:46:00.000-05:00

yay im back now. dont feel like saying anything.

woot

2006-01-07T15:25:00.000-05:00

im sitting here at the galeton library, and the text background is white so i cant see what im typing. hahaha i just owned the computer's ass at tictactoe. yessss. im staying the night at housten's, so dont bother trying to get my autograph (or a hug) from me tonizzle. ah i got some wicked ass cookies from the new deli. haha i said wicked. thats funny. ooo i dont know what i was just going tosay. oh yeah. CARISSA I MISS YOOOOO1 oh yeah and i also really want a hug. maybe i should stop. i wanna leave now cause i have nothing else to o but i jsut keep on typing. i bet i miss-spelled like 10 words by now, i cant tell. im making funny faces at the computer and getting funny looks from other people. haha i find it funny. ok im gonna go now. byes.

why is the computer such a retard?

2006-01-04T21:15:00.000-05:00

to-day was an extremely good day except for nina...she's been acting like an idiot again lately. (gasp!) just when things start goin good she has to make me miserable with her idiocy...ok ill stop. i think i re-broke my toe or something cause in gym i heard (and felt) this little crack then for the rest of the day it hurt unreasonably...fizzle. grr computers bein gay surprise surprise. well at least they still love me. shit i forgot to paint my nails again...no i dont have anything interesting to say, and am just blowing off some pent-up rage (haha i mean steam...i crack myself up) teehee now i feel all giggly...okay im leaving seeing as i have nothing worthwhile to say, o/a surprise surprise...

yay

2006-01-02T21:16:00.000-05:00

i got aim: yapityblepas. so yeah. ow my ass

!

2006-01-02T05:51:00.000-05:00

im hapY! i cant beleive it! if you were by me right nw and ma wasnt sleeping yoo would here me giggling and screeching cause i can. eee it feels so good. i feel a really strong desire to hug some-one and not let go for a small while. i hope this doesnt go away for a while. shoobeed00wa-watwaaa
im happy, im feelin glad
i got sushine, in a bag
im worthless
but not for long

eeeee have a nice day for today and for all days to come everyone!!! eee

2005-12-29T22:30:00.000-05:00

the song last kiss comes to mind. my love thank god hasnt died yet, but still...somehow it describes how i feel. hm. ne way. i cant beleive how much my under-nails bled today. usually theres just a little squirt. shit i forgot to take a shower...well getting sad again so ill leave before it changes to anger (bleh).

ahhh so confused...

2005-12-28T21:26:00.000-05:00

im not sure how i feel, but its almost confusion...err not very pleasant. *he* isnt helping much either, but i guess its for the best for now.

xyfdg

2005-12-26T20:48:00.000-05:00

went to the mall to-day. was fun. bought stuff. now am angry. and cold. T_T

x-mas

2005-12-25T20:13:00.000-05:00

today was quite luscious. brigg&nicole and josh&teresa came over. it was awesome, not to mention the presents. teehee. ne way. im bored. my hands are dry and crackly. my toe hurts, but i can move and feel it by now. im gonna have gas for 10 years because last night me and my dad ate about a pound and a half of shrimp between us, and i ate twice that much today. oh but it was so good. i miss everybody...so to all who read this, if i know you in any way shape or form, hi and hapy holidays. i was going to post a christmas special on my deviantart, but i forgot so itll be a late one tomorow. i cant wait till new years. im a goin to sara's for a new years party, and it is going to be the shiz. it was originally just going to be females there, but then her parents said it would be ok if sheldon came so yay. today was good. now i feel a sudden urge to find more awesome friends. ok bye alls.

omg! its herspephenie herspepherspepher!

2005-12-24T03:48:00.000-05:00

i hugger steph to-day and it was quite possibly the most luscious experience i ever had. ill have to do that more often. yes, that is a grand idea. i. pretty sure i broke my toe again. i say pretty sure cause it might just hurt like a bitch and be able to move where it couldnt before (with the assistance of my hand ofcorse cause i cant move the bugger my myself) cause of the nazis. haha theres even a little bump which might be misplaced bone, or it might be a mini-chip for future analisis of my behaviour. who nose. i mean knows. omg i just had somehting to say but then forgot again. wow. ah i think ill leave now to enjoy thing. gn

yawn

2005-12-22T22:07:00.000-05:00

tired. i was just got done watching 'a christmas story' and it was as always quite refreshing. im bored. i am probably tomorow going to post some pics of me with my new hair for those of us who havent seen it. well i dont know what else to say except that i miss everyone...just kep that in mind the next time you say 'oh nobody loves me...*boohoohoo*'. just had to get that off my ch-ch-chest. speaking of chest i jusy have to exclaim to thw world how nice i feel now that i have my bra off. some-body should im me cough*pile_of_pickles*cough ok good night to all, and to all a good night i guess. /hinthint/

2005-12-18T20:21:00.000-05:00

i put no title...haha. i got back from downstate to-day. the concert was beyond awesome, although when we first went to get our seats, i almost puked cause it freaked me out so much. (details not included) i got some christmas presents too that were nice. ha i should be typing my sister's thing right now but i dont necessarily want to. anybody else wanna? ill probably mess it up. i got some (2) cds to-day. i find it amusing that i only went to that store(hot topic{which sounds like hot chocolate}) how many times and i never reallized they sold cds. either that or they just put them in, but i really doubt that. okay im gonna take a break. okay break's over. not sure what else to say. okay goodnight.

chjjhv

2005-12-12T14:48:00.000-05:00

im here at school, so i got to make this quick. mom wont let me on the pooper at home (till wed) sooo i dont know...ok im gonna go now cause i dont know what to say. byes

i heart you t

2005-12-09T22:02:00.000-05:00

i just heard 'staying alive' and immediatly thought of my wittle sheldon-poos and thought i would dedicate a portion of my post to how much i heart him.

/dedication

i feel like adding photos to my my-space (haha that always cracks me up) i am now also rather addicted. thanks joe i think it's contagious. but anyway. to-day in english me and jenna copied out a bunch of pictures and gir paper dolls and sometime this weekend i am going to print out all sorts of outfits for them. yayayay. i crave stimulation

*

2005-12-08T00:45:00.000-05:00

i was going to say yawn, but then i reallized i wasnt tired, but just...nm. im not sure why i put groan. maybe i should put something else...there i just made it blank. now you can amuse yourself by putting in random words that should actually be stating how i feel but are senseless randomness. earlier this day (i should probably say last night) before supper, at like quarter till 6 or something, i lied down on my mom's bed not reallizing i would fall asleep and wake up at this ungodly hour. i woke up about a half hour ago incase you were interested. i decided immediatly to read some blogs seeing as there was no-one online to talk to...which obviously branched off into other things. i must say that i am feeling exceptionally good at the moment and really wish that i could do something with this nice little feeling. it somewhat feels like the warm and fuzzy i am often talking about, but better. i got this bulletin on myspace from diane, and i didn't reply to it in all truth...but it still was quite interesting. okay i'm going to go now. bye i love you all (some more than others)

steps to recovery

astralize me, cap'n!

im not happy with blogger

music of the stars

liz viscious' "plans" for the future

i need a woman...

a culture isnt a civilization untill it has architecture

ugh

its cakeface

i have an unhealthy obsession with runescape

i cant forget me

ahhh summer

prohibition paper...dont read it unless your bored

haha funfun

*sigh*

arrrrrrrggh

step one

requiem to sanity

but anyways

im sooo motherfucking pissed at the moment

i thought about it, i guess i need to focus on whats important to me..

sbibbet of a convo between me and v

im too sexy for milan, new york and japan

ja

well i started

i need a massage..

we can leave your friends behind (i like this post...letting people know how its going. dont worry its not sappy or sad or anything bleh like that)

fuckshit

things i'm thankfull 4

no dont drop me now; i'll sink into the underground

good morning!

infatuation at its worst

we all need some zlad

if i do have to be in love again, i'll be afraid to

cause this may be the last time you hear the boogie song

havent been here in a while

well

AAGGG if i am not already mad it is most certainly not mercy

painkillers

god hates the lords of salem

it was most deffinately my birthday

heart attack time!

glasses

rocket chocolate

endoplasmic reticulum

football

k

weeeooooow

i love to say fuck

you know what, love does stink

crap part deux

crap!

maybe i should...

school

you should deffinately read this

pictures

hooray for boobies

lightbulbs!

this is, i fear, an outline of my motivation

rar

right

just call me kentucky-fried-face

o-m-g lots

well

oh gosh

mealies! and ice-cream!

...

i...am...so dissapointed

yesterday was fun

i actually really dont feel like typing this but i guess i should

i ♥ disturbed

dont want a title!

bloo\long one should read all cause i worked alot on it

rr

i feel so terrible

holy schit

i <3 kisses

haha im sick

tonight we went to the movies

I LOVE SSAAALSAAAAA!

sigh