things i'm thankfull 4

all i may do is bitch and complain on this poor blog...so i'm going to show the world just how thankfull i am for the life i have. its no no order whatso ever...but i would like to say right now that above all, i'm most thankfull for love. love is what makes me thankfull...its pretty much what keeps me going. theres hardly any love these days, so if any of you are lucky enough to give or recieve the love that i do, think of yourselves as very lucky indeed.


family

my mom
my dad
my sister
my grandparents
heidi
debbie
norky
peggy
nancy
nels
john
kathy
jane
denny
austin
josh
nicole
gale
dot
amy
ashik
roy
i consider kyle & steph to be family


friends

sheldon
paul
sammi
joe
brian
nina
sabrina
kasy
kaitlin r
diane
sara lou who
tami
carissa
houston
bonnie
greyson
maggie
allison




general things

video games
school & education
madonna
buddy
slinky
the other koi
johnny
little juan sanchez
food
drinks
books
art in all its shapes and forms (music, painting, sculpture, bodymod, etc.)
my house
my wonderfull country
science
math
backscratchers
all my possesions
funny things
reminescence
good times
imagination
flowers
gardening & landscaping in all its shapes and forms
glasses
the inventive genius
religion in all its shapes and forms
the army


well i hope your inspired to reallize just how many things you have to be thankfull for; and remember, there are millions in this world that may only have one or two of these things...if your the religious type, please pray for them.











friends

no dont drop me now; i'll sink into the underground

all i want right now is some love..is that so much? people say its not gonna last...i dont care. i'm just going to do what i do when i encounter any other problem; ignore it and hope it gets better. ugh i wish it would get better though...i wonder if its a coincidence that quite possibly the worst time of my life happens to be right now...
but hey lets pull a liz and ignore this for the rest of the post
denny and austin and his girlfriend kila are up...she's pretty cool. school is going terrible. i got myself into debate even though i suck at every aspect of it. oh boy. i'm excited for thanksgiving though. kyle may come up sometime...maybe it will turn out good. i dont want to love anyone else...as you may know i'm rather pessimistic, and therefore think almost everyone else is idiots. yeah i'm pathetic. but what more can you expect?
alright i've gotten off topic. but hey who cares. i have more i want to write...but i'll write it somewhere else. just dont think i dont love him or something like that...thats just crazy. it's just his feelings i wonder about..
how did i know this was going to happen?

good morning!

i never in a million years thought runescape would be fun. but it is! you can fish! ehehe its so much fun. although...everytime i log in all my stuff goes away. its quite frustrating. and my guy is sexy. he has gray hair (i love gray hair thankyouverymuch), a green shirt and black pants that look kinda like bellbottoms. i could have been a girl but...all their outfits look ugly. and they cant have gray beards. well theres these hats that are those conicle ones with the wide brim, and i want one really really bad. i would like one in tan, but all i see them in is black. ell well good enough.
besides that, i'm going to a play today, but the bus leaves at 9 so i get some time in school to see my friends :). ooo and brian said he'd let me keep the garfield book! i so glad. you have no idea.
i feel good. i have comfy pants on and a dressy shirt for today, i just hope it looks good. but i FEEL good! oh i feel so good--uh!
sorry about that.
well i hope everybody has a good day!

infatuation at its worst

the trip was o.k. i neither enjoyed it nor disliked it. "nothing more to tell" -ozzy from sabbath bloody sabbath (im listening to it right now ;).
thats (one of) the problem though; i dont care about anything lately. i just feel completely blank about everything. it horrible. i dont even want to read much anymore. that and that other little emotion that i have no idea what it is...which in itself bothers me. i think that i cant wait untill this little thing is over, but i dont care enough about it somehow to know. ugh its to confusing...i need to think about and figure exactly what it is (besides depression, thats exactly what it seems like but im not sure) that is up.
well right now seeing as i dont care much about physics (AAGH), i want to major in music and minor in either math or cuisine...or both. i also want some business thing cause of how bad i want a hotel in louisianna, but unfortunately becuase of my current predicament. i cant figure out what i want to do in the future cause my mind doesnt seem to care. i do but it doesnt so i wont think about it. rather frustrating, and kinda confusing.
well thats all i have to say for now.
toodles

we all need some zlad

you know whats sad...im having an easier time talking to brian than kyle.
ooh he's so awesome. i hope we can get to be friends.


i heart you to infinity and beyond kyle!

if i do have to be in love again, i'll be afraid to

i always thought that one would have to be single in order to be hopelessly in love..
argh i cant wait for this little 'stage' to go away...depression just isnt my thing
dagonbytes isnt working. i was looking forward to continuing 'the shadow over innsmouth'.
and then theres those grades..arent helping my mood much
i'll just stop here...cause i dont have anything nice to say so i just wont say anymore

cause this may be the last time you hear the boogie song

as for my body,,things arent so well. earlier i sneezed and blood went everywhere. when i went to the bathroom to wipe it all up, at least another half spoonfull came out. but i do feel about ten times better; you see, the polyp grew back, and that sneeze popped it. it was hard to talk and breathe. then theres max, and something else i wont mention...
but other than that im pretty cool. i have been in the back of my mind quite depressed as some people may have noticed...but i feel so much more calm lately. i love it. me and snugglemuffins had a little talk and things are quite better, from my point of view anyways. i think i got a little smile out of someone which makes me quite happy.
argh except for those stinkin grades.
ooo the party is tomorow. im hoping i can get as much lovin out of kyle as possible :3.
i keep on trying to find rashelle in the mornings so i can give her a bag of candy to give to sam, but i can nver find her...ell well i'll get lucky some day.
i have something i want to say to somebody...i dont want to here cause..i dont know. i just dont. its times like thses when i wish me and kyle were into the same things, besides music and video games.
argh those frikin grades. pray for me.
well goodevening/night.